Our trip

You know what I could use right now? A trip. A trip to somewhere warm, sunny, and quiet. Somewhere I could lay in the sun and just relax. I want one of those trips. We did take a trip last night, but not to somewhere relaxing, far from it actually. We took a trip to the Emergency room.

So let me back up a bit. Sunday March 6th we had Liam's baby blessing. The night before that I found a fair amount of blood in his stool. It really frightened me! So I quickly got online to see if it was something that needed to be seen to right away. The most common reason listed was an allergy to cows milk or soy, and occasionally both. I have been avoiding most dairy since he was just a week or two old because of how colicky he has been. So I was having soy milk, but just in small amounts. But when I found the first bloody diaper I hadn't had any dairy, just soy. So when I read it could be both I decided I would just cut out soy as well. Well anyway last night (Sunday the 13th), he had a little bit of blood again! I had the smallest amount of dairy that day because the doctor said I could try small amounts to see if he was super sensitive or not. So I figured well, I just better cut out ALL dairy. Then a while later Liam woke up almost..choking on something. Basically just trying to catch his breath. My Mom and I both noticed it and thought it was strange, but I just kind of brushed it off. Well that night while feeding him he really was struggling. He was sucking down a lot of air and coming off trying to breath a lot. It was actually a little frustrating at the time. When we left for home last night Liam didn't fall asleep the entire ride home (that is strange). Then when we got home we got Clara in bed and I started to feed him for the last time before bed. This time he struggled even more! Just not able to suck once normally. He was swallowing so much air. I had to take him off and burp him every 30 seconds or minute. I was getting really frustrated so I decided to just lay him down, maybe he just didn't want to eat. As I did so, he started to struggle to catch his breath again. Every single breath he took he was laboring. It was almost like bursts of wind were blowing in his face and he would try to take in a big gulp of air but could only manage little tiny sucks of air. It is hard to explain, he was..sqeaking when he would breath in. I thought maybe he just had a little spit up and he was just trying to swallow it back down. But it didn't stop. So I picked him up and burped him agian and then put him back in his bed. But he was still struggling just the same. After two minutes or so I couldn't take it, I was really uneasy about it. So I called the on-call doctor. (It was about midnight). I told her what was happening and had her listen to him breath. I also noticed he was kind of foaming at the mouth so then I really started to panic. As soon as I told the doctor that she did as well. Before she had asked if we could drive him downtown to Primary Children's. I said we could but that we were super close to the Riverton hospital with a Primary Children's wing. So after I told her about the bubbly spit she said to get him to the ER immediately and asked if I thought I would be able to make it fast enough. That is when I really started to stress.

So we grabbed Clara and got in the car to drive. I was listening to Liam to make sure he was breathing still and leaning in the back seat the entire drive. When we pulled in he seemed to be doing a bit better, but he would kind of fall back into it. So we decided that we should just go in to be sure. They got him right in to test his oxygen levels. Despite his breathing difficulty his levels were fine. I was telling them about how Clara has croup as well. (that has also been so stressful to see her so sick as well). But I hadn't heard him cough really at all. And he had no fever. So they got us back into a room and hooked him up to a machine to moniter his oxygen. Well soon after we got in the room Liam had a couple of huge gas bubbles. And he pooped. Then the doctor came in and he was breathing just fine. He even smiled at the doctor!

So I fed him again while at the hospital so they could see that he was doing better. He did start to swallow a lot of air again. But he wasn't having problems after feeding. I only fed him a little bit because I really didn't feel like he was hungry. They decided that he was doing fine and to just let us go home. I am glad that is all it was, because I would never want anything big to be wrong with him. But wow, that is the most expensive gas bubble ever!

So now it is just trying to figure out what is making him have bloody, mucusy stools. The hard thing is that he is so young, and with nursing nothing seems to be cut and dry. I wish there were an easy fix, and an easy way to figure out what is wrong. But I guess life doesn't work that way.

Then the next day Liam came down with a bad cold. Then a day later I came down with it. Throughout the week it just got worse and worse, except for Clara, she actually started to improve a little bit. I guess I am just a little frustrated feeling like we can't get a break from being sick. Liam has been healthy maybe a total of 3 weeks his entire life(Granted, he is only 31/2 months old). Still. I don't think that anything stresses me out more than having sick kids. I hate to see them feel terrible and not be able to take it away. Not to mention they are more moody than normal. Sorry if this is sounding a bit like my personal journal entry, it kind of is.

I don't love anything more than being a mom. There is nothing more rewarding and wonderful. But I have to admit there are times when it seems overwhelming. When I have two sick, moody, kids all while I am sick as well. Sometimes when they have both been crying all day long I just want to give up...at least for the rest of the day. :) There is certainly no break for Mom's. But then Clara finds a way to make me smile. Like when she started to clean the windows while singing her ABC's all the way through. Or when I get a big hug and kiss from her. When I get a sweet smile and babbles from Liam. NOTHING beats those rewards, nothing.

Okay, I think that is all the venting I need.I know that the Lord will never give me something I can't handle, so I must be able to do it! All in all, life is really great. I love being a mom to my two beautiful children, and being a wife to my amazing husband. I can't ask for much better.